Our birthmom was kind enough to let me come with her to a doctor appointment and another ultrasound was set up. Her doctor knew that she was choosing adoption and he was in full support. On December 29th I drove down to Zachary, La and met her at the doctors office. This was the second time that we would meet. I don't think anyone can prepare you for the stress you go thru during these meetings. Honestly I can't even imagine the stress she was under. There are 2 woman who really don't know each other at all both in love with a baby they haven't met and both want the best for her, even if its not you. She had given us her verbal word that she chose us, but she had 3 days after the baby would be born to really decide. Which just weighs on you, but God! I have learned that there are these but God moments in life when everything else fails or is hectic...but God steps in and gives you his peace and strength. As we sat in the waiting room we started to talk about nothing, but in that nothing we found ourselves laughing and a true calmness of spirit came over me. Once she was called back the doctor did his measurements and ordered blood work and then sent us on to ultrasound.
Once we were in the room, the doctor had said he was going to do the ultrasound. He came in dimmed the lights and on the big screen tv in front of me was the most beautiful image! I heard her heartbeat and as I tried to keep my composure tears fell down my face. Her heart beat was simply amazing! Her brain, her leg bones, her little tiny fingers! Wow! We could not get any face shots because she was already moved down in the birth canal. We got to see her practice breathing....amazing!!
After her appt we went to dinner and talked more. She had said that her mom would like her to choose a different family other than us. I sat there trying not to "freak out" but stay calm and talk through it with her. She said that she showed her mom our profile book and that she had given us her word and to change her mind would just be mean. I held on to that statement!
We talked about her family, God and a little bit of everything. We talked about my infertility and the miscarriages that we had and how long we had been on adoption waiting lists. I didnt tell her any of it for sympathy or for her to feel sorry for us to give us her baby. We were just talking about struggles in life.
I drove her back to the maternity home she invited me in. It was a large beautiful home. I met one of the sets of house parents. She took me to her room and offered to give me another ultrasound picture from a previous one that she had. It was her profile and it was.beautiful! I was so grateful to be allowed to attend this appointment with her and to meet the doctor that would be taking care of both of them.
This was one of those things that I really wanted to be a part of and God made it happen. I was to pay for the extra ultrasound but he didn't charge me. (See but God)!
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